Strength....what does this mean to each of us?
What makes some of us want to get out of bed each day and others want sleep til noon?
What makes some of us want to work out each day and others be OK with being over weight?
What make some one get up in the morning and run 5 miles while others sleep all day?
What gives each of us the strength to face a new day and all the trials that come with it and others to hind?
Why do we look up and say YES I CAN, instead of WHY BOTHER?
Is the strength inside of each of the same or do we all have different levels?
What makes us access this so called strength and what do we do to harness it and bring it out?
What makes you stronger then me and what do I have to do to get to your level?
These are all questions I have been asking myself. I have been trying so hard to push and push myself in different directions each and every day. At 6am I try to get up and get ready to face a new day. I get up and get dressed and take a long 90 minute walk around my neighborhood to start each day. I do 5 special exercises and then I take a shower and head to work, where I will usually spend the rest of the day and sometimes into the night. But why am I doing this now and when in the past I would not do any of this?
Does the strength come from my own personal growth or did I get it from others around me? Do I take from others what I can't see within myself? Is my strength something that I posses or just something that I steal from the ones that I love? The strength to get up and make something of ourselves is different for each and every one of us, but we all have it with in us. We just have to know were to look for it and how to find it. We all have some kind of internal strength, we all just have to know how to access it and we all have to know what we are looking for. I think we all the strength to overcome any obstical and any set back in our lives sometimes we just need the help of others to pull this strength out of us.
I am a very very lucky person that I have very special people around me that are willing to stand by me and help me look for my strength and help me pull this strength out of me. These very special people have stood by me in my worst times and in my best times. They have always been there for me to help me stand on my own feet and reach a hand out for me when I was down on my knees. So thinking about this, strength doesn't really come from inside us but from the special people we surround ourselves with. These people are what feeds our souls and bring our strengths out of the shadows and into the light. But on the opposite foot, we have to have these strengths within us for our friends to pull it out.
Your true friends will stand by your side when things are going wrong for you and they will always hold out their hands when you are down on your knees. They will be the ones that you will turn to in you darkest times and the ones that are always there for you when you think you have nothing left with in yourself. They will save you when you thought there we no way you could be saved. I have these kind of friends and I love them very much and cherish every second that I am allowed to spend with them. These times with my friends is special to me in my own personal way, I trust them, I wonder at them, I look up to them, I use them to help me bring my strength out of me. We all use each other in some way and we all work together to help friends and loved ones to make our own lives better. I love my friends and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for them or sacrifice for them. They are my strength and they are my light and they are the ones that keep me going each and every day.
I might do things for myself now and do things to make myself a better person now because I want to make myself better, but why now and why not last year or five years ago or ten years ago? What has caused me to start pushing my self so hard and start making myself so much better? Well this is a question that I have been asking myself lately and the only answer that I can come up with is that "Its Time". The universe has brought me to a crossroads and told me you can go this way or you can go that way, now you must choose. There are very special people on both sides and it all came down to which one meant more to me and which one brought out more my strengths that were locked way down deep inside me. I had to decide what the universe was telling me and I had to make the choice as to whom to listen to. What was the universe telling me? What was my inner soul and spirit trying to tell me? Who do I listen to, the outside world or what was deep inside myself. There is only one answer...you must always listen to yourself. You must always believe in yourself. You must know yourself and love yourself before this inner strength can be brought out. That is where I am at right now...do I love myself, do I listen to myself, do I believe in myself? These are all hard questions to answer for someone that has been hiding in the corner for so so many years. But one person brought it out of me.
This one person saw in my things that I didn't knew excised. Saw strengths in me that I never experienced or ever saw. He was the person that I used to pull my strengths out of myself and the best part was that he knew I was using him for this and he didn't mind. He saw through me and allowed me to grow at my own pace. When ever I was down, he helped me up, when ever I was crazy he listened to me and waited for me to calm down. He would always look past me craziness and only see the goodness inside of me. This is the kind of friend that everyone should be lucky enough to have, that everyone needs to have to really grow and be strong.
I am a very lucky person to have him and all my other friends in my life, I hope that this will never change, although I know it will. Friends come and go through out your life, but if you are lucky enough to have the universe connect you with someone very special like I have...your life will never be the same. No matter if this person moves own out of my life, it will be OK, I will always have a piece of him with me. I have taken from him everything and given very little in return and I think him for this every day, now it is my turn to do the same for others. I need to be the friend to others that he has been to me, to help, to listen, to nurture, to share my strength. It is all a part of the never ending universe, we must all be love for one another....
