Ok, this is the first time I have ever put something like this together and like I said this is completely for my own benefit. This blog is to document all the changes that are taking place in my life and all the changes that my body is going through after I meet this special person that changed my life. He showed me how to learn who I am and learn who I can become. He has opened many windows for me and told me to look through them and see what is out there for me. I will not post his name because I have not asked his permission to do so, so for this blog he will be called Jack. This blog has nothing to do with anything but my own personal experiences, it is all about the journey that I have been taking in my mind and body over the past six months and into the future. Just to let everyone know that happens to read this, I am not the best speller and I tend to re-read things over and over again and make changes to them, so if some things don't make since, then you will have to over look them or get over it, which ever works for you.
So lets start at the beginning...
A little about myself first, I am a gay man that has recently gone through 3 major life altering changes that have really turned things upside down in my life. The first one was that my partner for 13 years has moved back to San Francisco to be closer to his family while I am currently living in Atlanta. This was fine with me, it is giving us time to figure out what we really want out of life and see where we want to be. Our relationship is stale and more like friends then lovers. We are still in contact and still talk, but are on separate completely different paths now, and I can see this. Were these paths take us, I am not sure...but we have to figure them out as we go. That was the major change #1.
The second major change was that my best friend of 38 years passed way very suddenly. I have know him since I was 4 years old. We grew up together in a small town in south Georgia, and let me tell you being gay in the bible belt was not an easy thing to do. As fate would have it we didn't come out to each other until many many years later, I can only imagine what we could have done if we would have opened up to each other when we were young and the fun we could have had, not to mention the support we could have given each other. His name was Chris and I will talk in great detail about him in the future, let just say for now, he has left a huge hole in my life that I didn't know how to fill. The bad part (or maybe it was the good part, I am still not sure) is that I was the one that found him in his apartment almost dead and called 911 to get him to hospital, but he didn't make it through the night. I wonder to this day what would have happened if I had been there earlier, but more about that later like I said. Any way that was major change #2
The third major change was meeting Jack. I don't know what power or universal stings were pulled to put me and Jack together, but what ever they were...wow what a major change this was. A lot of this blog will revolve around what Jack and I do together and the journey's we are on. Even though we are on our own separate paths, he is helping me and I hope I am helping him in some way also. Just for the record Jack is a straight man and there is nothing but respect and friendship between us. Jack has changed my world in so many ways, it will take a while to fully explain all the things he has done for me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Its been a very rocky ride so far with many high high's and low low's. Seeing that I had two major holes in my life when we meet, I was looking for ways to fill both of them (love and friendship), but my closed minded and heart were thinking only that I could never get love from a straight guy. I have come to the realization finally that the love he has for me as a friend is much stronger and much much more then what my weakened emotional heart ever needed. I have also come to realize that all the love that I need is within myself and I have to learn to love myself before I can except love from someone else. That was MAJOR CHANGE #3.
So those are the three major crossroads that have brought me to where I am now. I will start explaining them all in detail as we move forward. I might jump around a bit, but like I said in the beginning, this is all for my own personal growth and expression.
