I just got a call from a very special and very good friend today. I sent him an email last week because I have not heard from him in a long time and when we last spoke it was not good. He is young and just now getting to know who he really is and at the time, he was in over his head. He was being pulled in all kinds of ways, by me, by his family and by his church. He texted me this morning to my surprise and we ended up chatting for almost two hours. It was really good to read what he was doing and were he was with himself and his life. He has a job, a new home and his own car. He has really grown up and really taken responsibility for his life. When we were hanging out together we got into some hot and heavy stuff and I was basically supporting him. I bought him a phone, gave him money and actually bought him a car. I think at his young age and the pressures from all around him, he kind of snapped. He was man enough to give me back the car and phone which I was able to return. The last thing he to told me was that he was no longer gay because his church told him so and he was going to start dating women and get married. I tried to tell him that he has to be who he is and not let anyone tell him any different, but he wouldn't listen. I thought it would be better for him to find out on his own then to try to press the issue. I told him good luck and I only wish the best for him.
Today he is telling me that I was right, but he is still in the closet and worried about his new job, church and family finding out about him. My advise was to be himself and take his time and let things play out the way they should. He is only 21 now so there is no rush to scream to the world that he is gay, just the fact that he has finally excepted it for himself is a start. Take your time and continue to find your place in this life is the only way around this. There are some people that want to scream to the world that they are gay, but most of us do not. We just want to be excepted for who we are and loved by those that we love. Nothing more or nothing less. We don't want to be beat down or called names or treated any differently then anyone else in this world. Just because I love a man over a woman, it should not make any difference what so ever. I have a very special person in my life right now that I love very much but he is straight and he excepts me for just the way I am, with out judgement, and that is the way it should be.
I hope he will continue to keep in touch with me, and maybe we can start talking more again. I offered to take him to the MCC Church to let him see how god loves gay people, straight people, black people, Latino people and white people and everyone in between. He said he would think about it and let me know. I hope we can work this out, I think it might change the way he views a lot of things and himself.
If you are reading this and you know who you are, I love you man and I always will. I will always be here for you if you ever need me or just need someplace to get away and chill.
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